Post-Valentine's Day Post

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Argh, I can't take it!
It's like I'm in solitary confinement or that I'm stuck on a deserted island.
Welp, while I'm here, I might as well tell the stuff that I miss.

 I miss Elaine, my best friend Jean, Paula, Jeramil, Ryanne and everyone else :/
I miss wearing my best clothes and talking with my best friends on Facebook..
I miss going out with Jean
I miss being called by my friends
I miss my late night talks and roleplays with Jean
I miss eating past 12am
I miss the way how Elaine calls me her "little one"
I miss how everyone used to care about me
I miss how Elaine and I used to talk everyday
I miss how Jean used to Skype and play Minecraft with me
I miss the late night Skype calls
I miss when my Skype friends used to have a video conference and we'd talk for hours
I miss when I used to call Elaine on her phone
I miss those times when I flood Elaine and she'd say that it's okay if I flood her notifications

 Most of all,
I missed talking with all my best friends and the times we ALL used to spend together..

 By the way, my Valentine's day SUCKED
I had an anxiety attack and I fell down a staircase.
Why? Because I told Jean that it's okay if I don't become her boyfriend and I saw other people happy and lovey-dovey and whatnot.
I panicked, I got jealous, I had a hard time breathing.

 I wanted a girlfriend because I wanted to be happy.
My parents hardly ever loved me, that's why I needed a girlfriend.
So I can be happy like them..

 Plus, I hate being alone.
My friends all left me
I'm alone most of the time now..

I feel like I'm in some kind of long dream/nightmare and I'm waiting for myself to wake up..
.....or am I waiting for something more?

 Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking for your sympathy or anything, but I'm just simply spilling out my feelings here because I have no one & no where else to tell to..
...so just listen and hear me out..

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