Goodbye
Well, it was time to say goodbye sooner or later. This blog of mine was just the most wonderful and interesting part of my history. It caused a lot of controversy, sure, but it also caused some people to care and worry for me.
I'm still not fully okay now, and I might never be, but the thought that people once tried to help you, love you, and care for you is what comforts me on cold nights.
The "main characters" of this blog have already left my life, sadly. Jean and, sadly, Elaine. I'm saddened by Elaine the most because she was the most important gem in my life. She worried and cared so much about me at a time when no one else did.
I miss her, and I still love her. Of course, I don't love her romantically, but I still love her and accept her as my sister dearest. For me, my love for her means more than my love for all my past crushes, loves, romantic interests combined.
I really can't express how much I miss her, I just do. I wish I have someone like her in my life. Life is cold when you're going in alone. I didn't feel it that much before, but now I do. I wish I told Elaine how much I love her and appreciate her every single waking day I was with her, and I wish I hadn't been stubborn with her on some times.
Sadly, that chapter of my life is long gone. It was filled with warmth--maybe too much of it up to the point that it started fires--but it was a good time overall.
I'm now moving onto the next chapter of my life. It's a cold one. I'm lonely, alone, and have deep problems. But, unlike before, there's no one like Elaine to help. I don't like it. It's a barren and cold wasteland where laziness and tiredness prevails. The lack of inability to do something about it is what keeps me up at night.
If I'm going to be honest with you all, I'm having some fun times here in my current chapter in life. It's not really that bad, but... I'd trade the past 2 years of my life so far just to have 1 more day with Elaine. I want to feel like I'm loved again, as if someone's there for me, someone who genuinely cares.
Elaine and I didn't fight, and I don't think we've fought before. We just grew apart. What's sad is that we grew apart at a time when I still loved her. There's nothing I can do about it though. It's her life, and I'm not going to try and bring back the past. As most people say, if you really love something, you have to learn to let it go.
I don't want to constrict Elaine nor force her to be my big sister again. I just want to see her grow up and change, and be happy. My love for Elaine is different. She's like a beautiful rose in a garden, still growing and blooming. If I pick her up and try to keep her the same, she'll eventually die and cease to be someone I love. I just want Elaine to be happy, and seeing her happy kinda makes me happy.
But that's all, I guess.
I'm at a new chapter in my life, you're free to follow me if you want. Just ask or comment down below and I'll talk to you about it. But if not, then it was glad seeing you all. I can't believe it's been almost a full 4 years since I started this blog. You've seen me laugh, cry, frustrated, but most of all, grow. Thank you for all those years with me.
Goodbye. It's time to put this chapter of my life back to rest. I've since published all of the blog posts I've made in this blog for your reading. With that said, thanks for all the love and support.
If we, us, are ever meant to be together, our paths will cross again someday. Until then, goodbye.
I'm still not fully okay now, and I might never be, but the thought that people once tried to help you, love you, and care for you is what comforts me on cold nights.
The "main characters" of this blog have already left my life, sadly. Jean and, sadly, Elaine. I'm saddened by Elaine the most because she was the most important gem in my life. She worried and cared so much about me at a time when no one else did.
I miss her, and I still love her. Of course, I don't love her romantically, but I still love her and accept her as my sister dearest. For me, my love for her means more than my love for all my past crushes, loves, romantic interests combined.
I really can't express how much I miss her, I just do. I wish I have someone like her in my life. Life is cold when you're going in alone. I didn't feel it that much before, but now I do. I wish I told Elaine how much I love her and appreciate her every single waking day I was with her, and I wish I hadn't been stubborn with her on some times.
Sadly, that chapter of my life is long gone. It was filled with warmth--maybe too much of it up to the point that it started fires--but it was a good time overall.
I'm now moving onto the next chapter of my life. It's a cold one. I'm lonely, alone, and have deep problems. But, unlike before, there's no one like Elaine to help. I don't like it. It's a barren and cold wasteland where laziness and tiredness prevails. The lack of inability to do something about it is what keeps me up at night.
If I'm going to be honest with you all, I'm having some fun times here in my current chapter in life. It's not really that bad, but... I'd trade the past 2 years of my life so far just to have 1 more day with Elaine. I want to feel like I'm loved again, as if someone's there for me, someone who genuinely cares.
Elaine and I didn't fight, and I don't think we've fought before. We just grew apart. What's sad is that we grew apart at a time when I still loved her. There's nothing I can do about it though. It's her life, and I'm not going to try and bring back the past. As most people say, if you really love something, you have to learn to let it go.
I don't want to constrict Elaine nor force her to be my big sister again. I just want to see her grow up and change, and be happy. My love for Elaine is different. She's like a beautiful rose in a garden, still growing and blooming. If I pick her up and try to keep her the same, she'll eventually die and cease to be someone I love. I just want Elaine to be happy, and seeing her happy kinda makes me happy.
But that's all, I guess.
I'm at a new chapter in my life, you're free to follow me if you want. Just ask or comment down below and I'll talk to you about it. But if not, then it was glad seeing you all. I can't believe it's been almost a full 4 years since I started this blog. You've seen me laugh, cry, frustrated, but most of all, grow. Thank you for all those years with me.
Goodbye. It's time to put this chapter of my life back to rest. I've since published all of the blog posts I've made in this blog for your reading. With that said, thanks for all the love and support.
If we, us, are ever meant to be together, our paths will cross again someday. Until then, goodbye.
.png)
