What Do I Call You

Hello, you're a stranger
There is nothing much left
Memories, memories, memories

We said goodbye
But why are you still beside me
As before, as before, as before

Hello there, stranger. I can't believe it's been years since I last posted here. Yep, my blog is still up and it's approaching 10 years old in a few years.

Unfortunately, I only came here to check up, write something—get in, get out. I've moved on from this place and, while I'll keep this blog up as long as I can, I don't believe I should post here anymore.

As I've said, I'm (thankfully) still alive and things have looked up for me in these past few years. A few months after I said my "goodbye" post, Elaine and I finally met up in person. And I've been seeing her, my big sister, on a semi-regular basis back then. Back then, before the pandemic.

Speaking of people I thought I lost, Jean and I got back together as best friends! We were good friends for, like, 2 more years—2018, 2019, early 2020—until she kinda did something that I expected her to do in high school but not as a 20-plus-year-old adult. And after that, I decided to cut her off and just carry on. We've had our last exchange through email. She was my closest friend in those few years and I still think about her every now and then. But I guess those last years with her were a final "sendoff." A warm, soothing epilogue to our friendship—a beautiful postscript.

I've started to move forward in the past few years and I'm letting go of the things I've held on so dearly, like Girls' Generation, Jean, some old friends. I'm slowly accepting them not being part of my life anymore. I still love SNSD, Taeyeon, and all my old friends. But sometimes, I just have to accept that I'm moving onto a newer stage of my life and that some things may not return anymore.

I still write blogs on another "blogspot"/blogger site. I'll welcome you there, maybe we'll even have A West Coast Friendship there, if you can find it. But for this blog, I think it has served its purpose.

The person who started this blog, who kept posting on it, and who I am now are not the same person anymore. I kinda want to forgive and forget all my anxiousness during my time, all the mistakes I've made, and all the things I've done during this time. I don't want to carry the burden of remembering and holding onto the past. I want to let go and start another chapter in the 2020s.

That's why I can't post here anymore. There is nothing much left. We said goodbye. Everything changed, so what do I call you now?