Blue

A famous man once said, "We create our own demons." Who said that? What does that even mean? Didn't matter. I said it 'cause he said it. So now, he was famous and it was basically said by two well-known guys. I don't... uhh... I'm gonna start again. Let's track this from the beginning

- Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.)

I don't want to really start from the beginning here, so I'll just burn through some of the stories that I've covered a million times before in my previous posts.

Like what I've said before, I really loved Jean back then. I catered to her every wish and I've tried my best to like everything she liked, to see the world through her eyes. Sure, it's one hell of a way to get the girl, but you get the idea, I guess. I know it was a stupid and half-assed mistake to go that far and to let myself like everything she liked. I know, that was a dumb move, I get it.

Yeah, those were the "good times," I guess.

But I've moved on.

After a brief soirée in my best friend's house and after some help from +Elaine I said goodbye to the "do everything for the woman you love" scene, forgot all about those past Skype calls and most of the crazy shit I've done.

These days I'm a changed man. I'm different now.

Now that's all out of the way, I guess I can really focus on what matters to me now. It's better if I forget everything one by one until there's nothing left to remember. The usual, rewrite old memories with new ones, hopefully good memories.

Right now, at this moment, I seem to have not a single care for what is happening to my old friends. I've learned to let go, to finally put those memories to rest, to put the final nail in the coffin.

Whatever happens/is happening to Jean now, that's none of my business and I'm 100% aware of that. The human mind (well, my mind) can learn to let go; however, it can't easily let go of things that it has become accustomed to, whether it's a person or an action that it loves doing. It has to let go of which it has accustomed to slowly and surely, step by step. In time, the mind will continue to adapt and live without/without doing the thing/action/response it has become used to.

It's like learning to live without your eyesight, or your legs, or your sense of hearing. Of course, you'll expect to see some changes, both good and bad. For me, it was really adapting to a lifestyle without Jean. My mind was so accustomed to all the pain, the frequent asking for help (it's more like "chores"), and the lonely nights pacing back and forth wondering if I've made my "master" angry or displeased with my choice of words.

But with bad stuff coming in, good things came in too, more frequently than expected. I've realized that it was more fun and more "natural" for me to engage in a global dialog on timeless topics with people of my kind, mostly Sones, Microsoft fanatics, and the so-called "techno geeks". Right now, Soshified forums and WPCentral is my Internet town square. A place where citizens of my kind can join and exchange information on a wide variety of topics and engage in interesting conversations with the rest of the world.

I would like to thank them for being part of the daily and healthy everyday routine. For me, there's no better way to start the day other than turning on my laptop and keeping myself updated with the latest happenings with SNSD and Microsoft news.

My depression and anxiety problem is gone, I can tell you that. I don't (frequently) feel sad anymore, unless there's some news about SNSD's dating problem could bring down the group or that Microsoft is going to push back updates for Windows 8.1. So, yeah, until those kinds of news will appear on the live tiles on my Windows 8.1-powered laptop, I'm perfectly fine and happy with my life "as is" right now without having any changes to my current lifestyle, significant for not.

It's definitely an understatement to say that my current lifestyle is "too boring for the average Joe," or something like that. I'm perfectly happy with it and this is the way how I want to live my life: my way. Not by my stupid decisions, but mainly my decisions that I've thought about, these well-thought decisions to maintain a peaceful and fucking better lifestyle than before.

By the way, I'm going to make my playlist a sequential type of playlist right now, making Eiffel 65's "Blue" my main intro song, just because I like it; also because that it is my favorite opening/intro song and that it is one of the best songs I've heard from the movie Iron Man. Don't worry, I'll only make it my intro song for, like, 2 days or so, then I'll switch back to a randomized playlist.

I'm sorry if this post is kinda long and if it's a pain in the ass to read. I'm sure not much of you readers out there don't like the "Text is King" kind of post. For all I know, I'm just pressing a bunch of keys on the keyboard that represent letters, letters that form words, words that form sentences, sentences that form a story. That, my friend, is someone's story.

My story.