The Metro Diary

I gotta admit it, this week was the worst week of my entire life. I got all this stuff going through me and I can't handle it anymore. I honestly think that my heart cannot handle all this sadness, misery, and pain anymore. I'm starting to think that I wasted all my efforts on nothing. I'll just face it and say it here: All my efforts for Janine were fruitless, futile, stupid, and all in vain . I've realized now that I never had a chance with her in the first place. The made an eternal promise to each other, and until now she's keeping her end of the promise. For those who don't know, I just found out that SHE MADE AN ETERNAL PROMISE WITH HER EX-BOYFRIEND TO LOVE HIM FOREVER AND EVER and all that stuff. My body, heart, and soul is getting tired from all of this. I just want to have it simple, no complications whatsoever. Sure, there may be a lot of you guys out there who think, "Oh, come on, dude! It's just a promise, she'll break her prom...

Well, this week has certainly been a "shitstorm" for me. For me, these past few days were challenging as fuck. It was full of highs and lows, it was also filled with a lot of drama, I can tell you that. This week has put mind, body, and sanity through various (and rigorous) obstacles - most of which I was unable to overcome. But the thing that really shattered my heart was this one simple fact: Janine, the girl whom I loved so much, won't be there for me when I needed her the most. Oh well, it was a fun run but I guess all good things have an end. On the last day of August, August 31, I will officially STOP loving her and focus on moving on. (Hopefully it won't take a year or two.) I'm pretty sure that the guys who "competed with me in the F5200 league" will be overjoyed when they read this blog post. They'll probably scream, "Yay! Lance is gone! Thank you, God! Janine is mine now!" Or something like that. Whatever happens,...

I guess..it's my time to formally say that I'm an asshole. Yes, I was kind of an asshole earlier and I really do regret acting like that. If you could all just calm down and please understand me for the next 5 minutes, it would help me a lot. Seriously. I guess it's time to give up. We've been called an "asshole", "meanie", "idiot" and all that stuff too much. Here's a simple note I would like to leave for all you guys who came here because of Janine: 1. I didn't mean to call her that. I was only pretending and I said sorry a million times. 2. I didn't really mean to say that. You guys know that I wouldn't do that to the girl I love. 3. I understand and accept whatever punishment comes to me. Lastly, I won't disturb Janine ever again . I'm sorry I've caused all of this mess and I have nothing to blame but myself. Janine, have fun with Marc. You'll get along with him better than you did wit...

I'm sorry, guys, I let you all down. More importantly, I let myself down. I just found out that she likes someone else around a few hours ago and I've decided to just....give up. I now see that she has her heart set on another man and she has her own preference when it comes to men, just the same as everyone does. Obviously, I'm not "fit enough" for her criteria and I'm not her type of guy. To shortly sum this up, she likes men who are not like me, period. So...what am I gonna do now? Well, the best option I see right now is to just give up, go down to a weird downward spiral and enter a world of depression, again, and just accept her decision. It's hers to make anyway, not mine. I am sorry if I'm not your ideal type of guy. It really hurts me, a lot. I've never had my heart shattered into this many pieces before. It feels like a dark, depressing veil has been cast over me, taking my joy, happiness, and feelings of "Hope" alo...

I'm sorry, guys and gals. I haven't finished the Apex yet and there's still a lot of stuff to do here. My high school senior life is definitely hectic and I'm being "stress-tested" for college. I am so sorry for not posting these past few days and, uh, I will be able to post this weekend or so. Soooo....sit tight, I guess, because you're all in it for the long haul - including me :)

Nothing special here, just a post holder for my "Current Wallpaper" widget.

This post is part of a series about the things that happened in Apex 2014. What is Apex? It is a 9-day long "meeting" similar to a Summit meeting . It is a time where I gather my thoughts and look back at the things I've done in the past and find out where I went wrong. During this period, I also make several plans and agendas for the things I will do in the near future. About the event Apex starts on the first day of August, August 1, and ends on the 9th of August. On these days, I will be making critical adjustments to my current life, lifestyle, relationships with friends, and so on. Goal My goal is simple: Look back at my life and correct the mistakes I have made so that I will not repeat the same mistakes over again. Welp, it's official. I've finally made a blog on Tumblr! (: Sure, it's got a basic design and it almost exactly looks like this blog. Oh, and I'm not leaving Blogger/Blogspot, I'm just making another blog for no pa...