The Metro Diary

Hello, you're a stranger There is nothing much left Memories, memories, memories We said goodbye But why are you still beside me As before, as before, as before Hello there, stranger. I can't believe it's been years since I last posted here. Yep, my blog is still up and it's approaching 10 years old in a few years. Unfortunately, I only came here to check up, write something—get in, get out. I've moved on from this place and, while I'll keep this blog up as long as I can, I don't believe I should post here anymore. As I've said, I'm (thankfully) still alive and things have looked up for me in these past few years. A few months after I said my "goodbye" post, Elaine and I finally met up in person. And I've been seeing her, my big sister, on a semi-regular basis back then. Back then, before the pandemic. Speaking of people I thought I lost, Jean and I got back together as best friends! We were good friends for, like, 2 more years—2018, 20...

Well, it was time to say goodbye sooner or later. This blog of mine was just the most wonderful and interesting part of my history. It caused a lot of controversy, sure, but it also caused some people to care and worry for me. I'm still not fully okay now, and I might never be, but the thought that people once tried to help you, love you, and care for you is what comforts me on cold nights. The "main characters" of this blog have already left my life, sadly. Jean and, sadly, Elaine. I'm saddened by Elaine the most because she was the most important gem in my life. She worried and cared so much about me at a time when no one else did. I miss her, and I still love her. Of course, I don't love her romantically, but I still love her and accept her as my sister dearest. For me, my love for her means more than my love for all my past crushes, loves, romantic interests combined. I really can't express how much I miss her, I just do. I wish I have someone like...

Hey, all! Since this blog's pageviews haven't plummeted down to 0 (yet), I'd figured someone might be, at least, checking out my blog. So, um, here's an update for those who are willing to read up on how I've been. For those most part, to be honest, I've been doing quite fine over the last few weeks. Last week, the days around October 12-16 was the luckiest week of my life. This week wasn't that bad as well, it was stressful for the most part, but I've been trying to cool down and relax recently. If there's one thing I would say, it's the fact that my life is sort of stagnant right now, with nothing new happening between days, and I've had the feeling that I'm missing someone. If I could give you a name, it would be Elaine. I kinda really miss talking to her about SNSD and all that stuff. Back then she'd be the go-to person for all the newest news on everything SNSD. But, um, we've kind of grown apart these past few years. W...

If there's one, underlying, thing I've learned over the past couple of months or so, it's the fact that I do not go well with any groups, even with people. I don't really know why, but as far as I can remember I've always been the outcast, the one always left alone ever since elementary or so. I'm in college now and, although I've been making strides in becoming more friendly with people, I still really find myself as someone distant from the others. Just like what happened earlier, it was our physical education class and we were in this bowling arena. The day started out so great, to be honest, but never had I expected that it would end this horribly. So going back, my class and I were in this bowling arena and for the first few moments I was pretty cool with them all, cracking jokes and laughing with the group. That was until the class started and we were supposed to be in groups. I'm not sure what the maximum number of players were in a group, but I...

When your life has stagnated, or when your life has reached a point where you don't find joy in anything else you do, what would you do? Would you confine yourself to the thought that life nowadays is now confined to a schedule or do you try and break it and get out of the cycle? If you do, what would you do and how would you do it? Those are the questions that have been plaguing me for weeks now. I'm afraid to admit it, but my life really has stagnated. Generally speaking, stagnation is bad, and when I meant that my life has stagnated, it has reached that point where I'm just confined to a schedule, day in and day out, I don't usually find happiness in the things I do anymore—basically the same week keeps repeating over and over and my happiness is slowly declining. A few months ago, when I had my English term, my life was also confined to a schedule—albeit a more fun and enjoyable one. Every Monday morning, I would see the girl I love (my professor) and she would ...

As you can see from the bar graph above, you'd immediately notice that I have made most of my posts back then in 2014. I was blogging on an almost daily basis back then in 2014. Every time something good happens to me, I would make a blog post about it; the same way goes for the bad things that happen to me. This blog was my diary back then, my own personal friend that I can tell all of my secrets to. Now, things are a little different, and not all of the changes are good. For those who have been reading this blog ever since it started back in 2013, you may notice that most of my posts from 2013 are now gone. Honestly speaking, if I were to count all of my posts published today (excluding this one), it would be around 117. But what most people don't know is that I have 105 posts that are marked as drafts. That's 47% out of all the posts I've made all in all. 47% of hidden content, just waiting to be published. Mind you, 47% is a high number. If you didn't know 4...